Mulling

I'm just so sick of how this one issue has upset me so much, how irate it makes me feel, and how irrational it is. The escapist inside of me is so predominant that all I want to do is leave, run, and never come back. It's completely ruining my life at the moment. For instance, I'm meant to be having breakfast with a friend right now, except that because of this one thing that I'm mulling over made me completely forget, and she just rang. How bad do I feel now. Thank God for forgiving friends. I thought I had finished mulling over it yesterday, but obviously not. I'm not even mad for the same reasons as yesterday anymore. I'm mad at myself for having felt that way in the first place. I had decided by yesterday afternoon that it was stupid feeling so frustrated about something when I should just let go and let God deal with it, since after all, He is in control of the whole situation, and ultimately, He is letting things happen the way He lets them happen for a reason/reasons and those reason/reasons, are for my good as well as their good. The truth is that I was actually mad at Him for allowing it to happen in the first place until I came to this conclusion. Just when I thought I had come to a good place with my emotions about it all, it's now all been dredged up again.